Take the Bad with the Good

First, thank you to everyone who has given me words and actions and f support over the past five months. It is greatly appreciated.

Please do not stop.

My personal world has been weighing quite heavily on me as of late.

You have probably seen some of my posts and Tik Toks ( @sthooch ) and I appear energetic as ever and quite normal.

What you do not see is me slowly slipping into depression. I’m not depressed all of the time but I feel it creep in from time to time. This morning was the worst so far.

Why are you depressed?

The main reason is my tremors and memory loss. They both have gotten much worse. I tremble pretty bad to the point that I cannot open a water bottle, medication or write. It takes me quite a while to write these due to misspellings caused by my tremors while typing. I can live with it but the memory loss is taxing.

I forget people’s names. I forget whether I took my medicine. I don’t remember things that happened last week. I ask Ashley the same questions over and over. This morning scared me the most. I woke up in a cold sweat frantically that I needed to hurry up and get dressed because Ashley and I have to go pick up the girls from their last day of school. I jumped up and put my shorts on. Then I slowly realized that we already did it…last Friday. That time I caught myself. Usually I don’t.

I am currently on anti-depressants for my anxiety and not depression. I think I may need an adjustment.

What you see in my social media posts show an energetic me fully recovered. What you don’t see is me having to rest. I’m not whole…yet.

I try to be the greatest optimist but it’s hard sometimes. I know things will work out and I just have to keep moving forward.

***SPECIAL REQUEST***

If you or someone you know is anonymously donating a kidney, PLEASE let them know there are many kidney patients who could use their voucher.

I currently have a friend who desperately needs a kidney and a voucher would definitely help.

Please contact me through this blog if you are able to help.

Thanks again for your continued support!