Level 294 Complete…what’s next? >sigh<

Hello everyone!

Where to start...

This has been an exhausting journey which seems to have no light at the end of the tunnel. At least in the foreseeable future.

I'm down. I'm tired. I'm spent.

I've been exercising more but it kind of backfired. I recently went on a short trip where my steps increased dramatically by at least 18,000 steps per day. I had been trying to walk more to prepare for the increase.

I have neuropathy in my hands and feet. Part of the reason I go six plus days without sleep. Another problem with neuropathy is I cannot feel my feet. Because of this, I walk on my feet harder than I would if I had feeling. What can happen is friction is created between tissue in your foot creating problems.

When I got back from my trip, the noticed that part of the bottom of my foot was bruised. I scheduled a Foot doctor appointment for the next opening. I went in and the doctor asked to see my foot. As soon as I took off my sock she said "that's no bruise" and immediatly yelled to her assistant to set up xrays and that she needed to sterilize it immediately so she could drain it. It was an abscess. She told me that I needed to be worried.

I was confused. Scared. I could not stop asking myself what the fuck was happening?!?!?? I kept asking her what it meant because I could not focus to understand. What was happening??!?!?!?

After she drained it, she said all of the fluid was clear with some blood. Evidently this was the best case scenario at the time. She then explained to me what could happen and the next steps.

1. X-rays and drain the abscess.

2. Take oral antibiotics (500mg 3 times a day)

3. If the infection progresses visually, immediately go to the ER

4. The hospital will administer new antibiotics via IV.

5. If those antibiotics do not work and the infection spreads...

6. Amputation

They treated the wound, created by the incision to drain abscess, and sent me home with a boot.

I have been in bed every morning, noon and night for almost a week to rest my foot.

The infection has not gotten bigger which is good but it hasn't gotten smaller either. To make things even dimmer, yesterday we noticed a similar smaller spot on the bottom of my other foot.

I have my follow up first thing tomorrow morning.

With all of this going on I now begin to question my quality of life currently, if I lose a foot and/or if I lose both feet. It is taxing.

I will admit that thinking of certain scenarios, I cannot see a quality future continuing to struggle with constant pain, mobility issues and good mental health.

Wish me luck and I appreciate your support!